I took this little article off of my Woman's Day magazine from like 2006, i couldn't find it online so I decided to retype it:
-Besides not being very effective, constant yelling can damage the trust between you and your child, as well as your child's self-esteem, says Hal Runkel, author of ScreamFree Parenting; Raising Your Kids By Keeping Your Cool. Try these quieter alternatives instead:
Calm yourself. If you're seeing red, step away and think about what you'll say before addressing your child, recommends Runkel. Remind yourself to speak calmly and slowly.
Let the consequences do the talking. Give kids a choice, suggests Runkel. Say, "Either bring in the bike now or I'll put it away for a week." Then follow through.
Use the glare. Develop a look that your child knows is a signal that she needs to stop what she's doing. But for this to be effective, says Anne Brazil Creator of Timeout Tot, a DVD on calmer parenting, you need to be loving and communicative with your child most of the time. Only use the look when you're angry, so as not to confuse her.
Lower your voice. "Rather than raising your voice, make it barely audible," suggests Peter Favaro, Ph.D., author of Anger Management: 6 Critical Steps to a Calmer Life. Your child will be distracted from what she's doing as she strains to hear you.
Vacate the premises. If you you repeatedly ask your young child to stop doing something and she won't, you may need to carry her from the room, says Brazil. If she's older, say firmly, "We're leaving now," then lead the way out. Andrea Atkins
-Besides not being very effective, constant yelling can damage the trust between you and your child, as well as your child's self-esteem, says Hal Runkel, author of ScreamFree Parenting; Raising Your Kids By Keeping Your Cool. Try these quieter alternatives instead:
Calm yourself. If you're seeing red, step away and think about what you'll say before addressing your child, recommends Runkel. Remind yourself to speak calmly and slowly.
Let the consequences do the talking. Give kids a choice, suggests Runkel. Say, "Either bring in the bike now or I'll put it away for a week." Then follow through.
Use the glare. Develop a look that your child knows is a signal that she needs to stop what she's doing. But for this to be effective, says Anne Brazil Creator of Timeout Tot, a DVD on calmer parenting, you need to be loving and communicative with your child most of the time. Only use the look when you're angry, so as not to confuse her.
Lower your voice. "Rather than raising your voice, make it barely audible," suggests Peter Favaro, Ph.D., author of Anger Management: 6 Critical Steps to a Calmer Life. Your child will be distracted from what she's doing as she strains to hear you.
Vacate the premises. If you you repeatedly ask your young child to stop doing something and she won't, you may need to carry her from the room, says Brazil. If she's older, say firmly, "We're leaving now," then lead the way out. Andrea Atkins
