Well a little bit of backstory here:
My husband was working as a youth pastor in Arizona for a few years before the church was unable to keep us on salary after buying new land and after people started freaking out about the financial crisis and gave less and less...anyway. We ended up moving to Colorado for the job opportunity and possible ministry opportunity. Well we have been here almost 2 years now and haven't really been involved much...

But ministry is still in our hearts....

So this week my husband has been talking to me about one of the students in his class. (Let's just call her Jane)...Jane has a problem with cutting. Her home life is messed up. Her mother is gone and dating all kinds of the wrong people. And her father isn't any help to her self-esteem, makes her feel less of person w/ his words--constantly cutting her down.

So at first my husband told me about her...telling me she has really opened up to him and she gives him really big hugs and he hopes she can find a girl/woman to talk to b/c it's not really appropriate for her to be hugging a guy like that...it would be different if she was closer to our family or something but he just felt kind of like it should be a female in his place. I don't know if this is him trying to tell ME that maybe I could be that person....

So I met her on Sunday. Sweet Beautiful "Jane" --- When my husband was telling me about her on saturday i told him to point her out to me.... My heart went out.

Just last night he gave me the rest of the story...there is a group of about 3-4 girls in his class that all hang out together... One other girl who attempted suicide and Jane who self-mutilates. As my husband told me their story and what he sees in school everyday.... My eyes filled with tears...but I feel so unable---- I never experienced anything like this as a teen. I only heard of it and it was far from me. I don't know how to reach out to these girls. It is SO prevalent today... So here's what I'm asking. I need information. I need YOU to help me---enable me, even if it's just for this small group of girls.
My husband asked me why I named this blog "know how mom"...he said "Isn't that a bit presumptious?" And i answered him by saying that the title wasn't just for me it's for all of those out there who KNOW...have knowledge and want to share. This blog isn't mine alone but urs as well. I know everyone of you have a bit or a lot of knowledge to share with the world. So for now the knowledge I need from you is HOW to help these girls.....

to write love on her arms ....

3 Responses
  1. I would encourage you to get to know the girl or girls casually. Don't tell them your husband told you exactly what happened to them or whats going on in their life. Perhaps if you need an opener you could say that he said she could use a friend and that you could to. Then invite her for coffee or art or something and encourage her to relax with you, while trying to make her feel special and liked. If you manage to befriend her and she confides in you, you could suggest books that help with self growth and positivity if shes a reader. Or encourage her to put her feelings down on paper in writing or art. If you think that she wouldn't be completely unreceptive you could try and encourage her to go to counscelling. If none of this is possible you could always try and make friends with her father and be supportive to him and possibly make her life more tolerable that way.

  2. Rosie Says:

    I agree with some of Trianna's suggestions. I think art/graffiti and/or an art journal is the way to go once these girls will talk to you. Things is, they may find it harder to relate to you (particularly Jane), if their own moms have let them down. That could be why they see your DH as a bit of a hero... You can only smile and be open to them. I don't have experience in this field personally either, but I have a teenage DD who has 'troubled' friends, so it's just a matter of being there and listening if, and when, they want to talk. Good luck!

  3. Sharon MLS Says:

    My teen daughter introduced me to this organization/group TWLOHA. She wanted to buy one of their tee-shirts and make a donation to the group. She was very touched by what they are trying to do. She is very tenderhearted to others she sees suffering even tho she does not come from such a background. We do get quite a mix of kids (and adults) coming to our home. My advice would be to just chat with Jane. When you see her at your husband's work, comment on something she is wearing. "Cool earrings!" "Interesting tattoo." "I like your color tee-shirt." Something simple and sincere. (Kids can soooo tell if you are not sincere!) See if it leads to a few minutes of chatting. As she comes to trust you, you can invite her over like Trianna said for art. Keep it simple. Since you mentioned that your husband did work as a youth pastor at a former job, I hope you will have more than just self esteem to teach her. God created her! God loves her - no matter what! And as you reach out to her you can be sharing that love too! Blessings. email me if you like.

Post a Comment